j.T.smith

Back On Track

2009-12-22T23:54:00.000-08:00

I would like, once and for all, to eliminate the division of predestination. I do not want to eliminate the idea or the talk of predestination, but rather the split between faiths. There are two groups of people all doing their called work by God, but are divided. One group says that we are in control of our destiny, and must be saved by a repentant heart. The other group says that there is nothing we can do to ultimately change the will of God, and in the end, He will choose who is to live, and who is to die.

I will be in prayer while I write this, and I hope that no one looks at this with a critical heart. I am not a learned scholar, and am going to miss points in each idea. My intention is not to define these two beliefs, but to join the people who believe in them. John 14:26 says, “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” The idea of the Holy Spirit coming down is so that we all understand that which is taught by Christ. Therefore, if we were all in an understanding of his teachings, then we would all be unified in that understanding as the body of Christ.

Now, since we are divided in this idea of predestination, that means that one, or both, of the parties are incorrect. That or they are both correct, and are divided over nothing, having created their own prideful misunderstanding. I worry that in some people’s attempts to bring glory to God, they are actually trying to bring glory to themselves, or that which is their understanding. I pray that this writing does not paint me into that light, as I am attempting here to express my understanding of scripture, and ultimately unify the church. We exist ultimately to bring glory to God the Father. As it says in 1 Corinthians 10:31, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” Do not take lightly the scripture. Paul here says, “or whatever you do”, which very simply means “everything you do”.

Therefore, if the Spirit is here to unify the church, and we have created a division amongst the workers of God, how can we then be glorifying God? Does Christ then have two brides? Have not the Jews and the Gentiles both been presented with the promise of inheritance for those who believe? There is no division in the church!

Now, I must say this. Before Christ, people were saved by faith, as it was counted to Abraham as righteousness. If the path of righteousness is the path of salvation, then Abraham being righteous must be saved. It always has been, and always will be our faith that allows us to be saved. If, therefore, you have faith in the Father, that he sacrificed his son and raised Him from the dead, then you will be saved. In the Old Testament if you simply had faith in the promise, or faith in the father, and were obedient, you were saved. There was a time when there was no promise, and people simply lived with the knowledge of God, and either obeyed what he said, or disobeyed. If God calls to you to pick up a rock, and you do so, then you have obeyed God. If you do not pick up the rock, then you have disobeyed God. The key here is to always obey God. We have the Bible, which is full of commands and guidelines to obeying God.

God counts it as extremely important that we obey him. If we say we obey him, but do not, then we are lukewarm, and he spits us out of his mouth, and for us it would be better if we had not known the way of righteousness to begin with. If we then must obey God and do the work he called us to do, what difference does it make whether we were predestined to do it or not? The fact remains that we must do it. Romans 8:7-8 says, “For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” And the fact also remains, that the more we argue about the fact of being predestined or not predestined, the more we become divided. Romans 8:18-19 reads, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.” And verse 23-25, “And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”

The word adoption is used in many places, but its use here is clearly stated as something we are waiting for. Paul does not have a history of including himself in his letters as the people he is writing to except in salvation or suffering. In correction, he speaks as a model, and sets himself apart in that respect. In this case, however, he clearly says “we”. Paul himself is waiting and hoping that he is saved, being driven by the promise that those who believe will be saved. It does not say that those who believe Christ are saved, but that it is simply righteousness which is the path to salvation. When the seventy-two return, Jesus does not tell them to rejoice because they are saved, but to rejoice because their names are written in heaven. They can rejoice because they have the hope of being saved, as it says in Romans 12:12: “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”

My point now is that we are all working towards salvation. We all have faith, which is defined in Hebrews 11 as “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” We are all struggling to be righteous, and this is an undeniable fact. “…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”(Romans 2:12) For what are we being saved from? Are we being saved from sin, or from condemnation? If it is from sin, then I guess I am not saved, for the bible clearly states that we will “do what we do not want to do.” The Bible says that “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”(James 4:17) If we are sinning, then we apparently have not been saved from it. One who is saved from drowning does not still drown.

No, we are saved from condemnation, which means that we will not truly know if we are saved until condemnation is upon us, which happens on the Day of Judgment.

Therefore, it is established that we have a common purpose! “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…”(Matt. 28:19) What then is the predestined man? Praise God! What then is the repentant heart? Praise God! Let us then come together, “confess[ing] your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”(James 5:16)

"Love's Stepping Stones" Part 3

2009-10-12T02:14:00.000-07:00

I write today with complete confidence. I pray that the Lord’s words be written here.

This will be the third part of “Love’s Stepping Stones”. It will cover the idea of knowledge. I will be honest with you. Until today, I had no idea what I was going to write here, but my eyes have been opened to a new painting, and I am now going to share that painting with you.

"For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, virtue with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with steadfastness, steadfastness with godliness, godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and increasing, they keep you from being ineffective and unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.”

2 Peter 1:5-9

So, what am I going to say? Am I going to tell you all these special, catchy phrases that will make you feel like you know more things? Am I going to tell you the importance of reading your bibles? Am I instead going to tell you that "knowledge puffs up, but love builds up," so just forget about it? No.

In fact, I am going to tell you about how the knowledge of one thing fits into what I have already talked about, and about what the bible talks about. I generally like to be wordy, witty or funny, but I honestly can’t think of how I could be in this case. This is a simple thing, and it is not funny. It is very, very serious, and I hope that all of you can come to grasp this as it is meant to be grasped.

I’ll back-track a bit, and lead into it. Have faith. Faith in God, faith in Christ, faith that the Holy Spirit moves through whom it wills, and faith that you have a purpose! Believe in what you hope for, and be convicted in the things that are unseen, as that is faith.

Now, if we are faithful, we will want to do what we know is right. If we are faithful to our spouse, we will do what we know our spouse thinks is right. If we are faithful to our God, we will do what our God tells us is right! He tells us to be virtuous! Be good! “Love ME, love my SON, and love those AROUND you,” he says. All of His commands are covered if we love.

But what if we don’t? We try, yes, but what if we fail? Can we fail? Doesn’t failure happen at the end of something? Can you fail in the middle of an attempt?

WHAT IF WE STUMBLE AND DO NOT ALWAYS DO WHAT OUR GOD ASKS OF US!?!

What then?

What do we do? Do we know what to do? Do we have the knowledge that will save us?

Christ died for our sins! He hung himself, from a cross. Two pieces of wood, most likely jagged and rough, that tore at his already torn flesh! He bled, he suffered, he endured all. And he did that, so if we fail, if we don’t meet up to the highest standards set before us, we can be saved. It’s all old news, I know. But I scream to you now!

DO NOT ABANDON HOPE! DO NOT GIVE UP! RUN YOUR RACE!

Know that the Lord your God has endured all things, so that you only have to endure YOUR things. Will the God of all creation tremble at your trials? Not at all. If you love him, and cry out to him in the darkness, WILL HE LEAVE YOU!? NO!

YOUR GOD WILL NOT ABANDON YOU, AS LONG AS YOU DO NOT ABANDON HIM!

But you think, “If I turn away, will he ever take me back?” The time is ticking, but it is only the time attached to the duration of your life! I pray that when you first heard you simply did not fully understand the wealth of his forgiveness and grace! Our God has wrath, and he will bring it down upon those who forsake him for this world. But if you look to Him, even in your darkest times, and tell Him that there is NOTHING left for you but Him… that you will die to yourself, and live to follow Christ, then he WILL have you. And he WILL wait for you. But the clock is ticking. You only have until your final breath. After that it’s too late.

I say this last thing. Know that every moment you put off running to Him is a moment wasted in His glorious, unending light.

This is the knowledge I wish for you to be filled with. Flip through the pages of the Bible, and see the character of God. See that what he wants is simply for you to understand how amazing and good, and just He is. Be faithful. Be good. Know your God. And I do not mean to turn people away. This all sounds like I am preaching an unloving God. But tell me, how can you possibly believe that you have excepted salvation from sins when you constantly live in a state of sin? While you causally indulge in sin, and while you still have time to stop, you say, "I sure am glad God died for my sins." How is this possible? It is not God that the anger should be towards, but the person we see in the mirror. He did His part. Would you have him be crucified again? No, we cannot be perfect. But we have the ability to say NO when there is opportunity to say no! Our minds will wander, and our hearts will falter, and our faith will diminish with the lies and deceits of the world, but I tell you now... GOD HAS FORGIVEN YOU FOR YOUR SINS, SO EXCEPT THAT, AND MAKE EVERY EFFORT...

It is so hard for people to grasp the idea of the word "every", or the word "always", or the word "never". The human mind doesn't seem to want to fathom these ideas, but instead replaces them with "some of the time", or "most of the time".

MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO SAY NO TO SIN!
MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO LIVE FOR CHRIST!
MAKE EVERY EFFORT!

In Charge

2009-06-30T13:07:00.000-07:00

I was thinking of that phrase. In Charge.

"Who's in charge here?"

"I'm in charge of this establishment!"

etc...

When I broke down that two word phrase, I found it made so much sense it was unbearable.

Let's get down to it. The word "in" is simple enough. Preposition. Whatever, I don't need to explain it. Moving on.

Charge. The word charge has a ridiculous number of meanings, and may be one of the most multi-definitioned words out there. I can't state this as fact, but there are a lot, and none of them are remotely relevant to the other. Moving on.

One of the definitions of charge was an obligation or requirement through management or supoervision. I am going to base this writing off that part of the definition. I'm trying to make a point here, after all. Moving on.

The first definition was similar to that of an electrical charge. The capacity at which an apparatus could hold or recieve. Let's remove the word electricity, and replace it with certain virtues, for example: patience, kindness, goodness, etc. Read this paragraph again, and then let's move on.

The next is that of instruction, or command. One is charged with the duty of painting a fence. Let's say the qualities listed above, and many more like them, are your charge. Well... are they? If so, are you holding to it? Moving on.

The next revolves around finances. Oh, the finances. Can't a talk ever NOT involve money? Well, when a society chooses it as a means of getting anything accomplished, including but not limited to eating, health, transportation, education etc, then no. Money will most often find its way into any talk. Therefore, charge is what is owed. A price. What are you willing to pay? To give up? To sacrifice? Moving on.

How are you on the outside? What if you are charged with a crime? Are you setting yourself up to be? It doesn't have to be a crime. It could be anything that anyone would, or could charge you with in a sense of lawlesness or misconduct. Are you blameless?

This last one is by far my favorite, and in my heart the most meaningful. Charging into battle. Who will follow you? Who will trust you will soldiers lives?

Look at all these in an aspect of leadership. Are you charged up with a heart that is seeking to be good? Are you recognizing the instructions that has been given? Are you willing to sacrifice, or do whatever it takes to do what is asked of you? Are you keeping yourself pure? Are you trustworthy in the eyes of the people around you, that they would follow you into battle?

Are you in charge?

Great Gluttony

2009-04-04T19:53:00.000-07:00

Let me begin by saying, if you have read any of John Piper’s works, or that of C.S. Lewis, you should catch on to what I am about to say fairly quickly. If you haven’t, don’t worry, you’ll most likely catch on just as quickly. I am not actually going to be copying their opinions, but I want you all to know what I was reading when I started to think about this.

Luke chapter eleven is a very, very common chapter in the bible. Not sure what Luke 11 is? It’s the Lord’s Prayer. It’s ok if you didn’t remember it was there, because everyone should know this passage, more or less, and it’s meaning. Jesus tells those in the temple about how we should be praying. Not being flashy, with greats words, and speeches, but telling God exactly what it is you are wanting to tell Him, and a general outline. Cut to the chase. He also tells us that if we “knock … the door will be opened.” Got a problem? Go to the Father, and He will supply all your needs. And remember, this is NEEDS, not WANTS. When it comes to anyone but God (oh hey, that’s everyone), what we want is generally way off the mark of what we need. He’s got our backs.

You may also be familiar with the ending of almost every book in the New Testament. They end in praise, and an amen. The writers are basically saying “God is good, and ain’t that the garsh darn truth!” There are a plethora of verses relating to the importance of praise, adoration, and worship, so we know we need to be praising Him when we see His glory, and at other times throughout our lives.

But here is something I had not quite thought of. Why are there stipulations? Do we need a cause to praise? Must there be a need to ask for help (And in case you’re wondering at the silliness of that statement, it’s really just a rephrasing of the previous sentence.)?

How many of us stress about this, that and the next thing, and then just continue on with our daily lives? How many of us focus more time on trivial things than most of our mandatory routine tasks? How many of us will go days, weeks, and months, and never acknowledge the Giver from which that time came?

Too Many! And I fit right in there with everyone else! I am terrible at looking straight up. That could be why He has put it on my heart to share this.

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

Sound familiar? It’s 1 Corinthians 10:31. I believe the Bible should be “read” literally in every aspect, but that there are some things that must be looked at in the context of the times, or passage. This may be confusing, but I will be posting on this topic shortly, so stay tuned. We all know that gluttony is sinful. Over indulgence in foods is unhealthy, and selfish. However, there is one type of gluttony that is free from sinful nature, and that is being gluttonous for Christ. Devouring his word, and praising him without ceasing. “Living for Christ” has lost some of its meaning and we need to embrace the true definition. Never cease to be looking up. I can’t imagine a friendship, or a marriage that would be successful, if you went to that person only when you needed something, or you noticed them do something good. In order to keep that relationship healthy, you must constantly be in contact, and in communication. Can you truly say that you only talk to your good friends or spouse when you absolutely have to?

I want you to stop reading this for a moment, and reflect on that.

Can you truly say that you only talk to your good friends, or spouse, when you absolutely have to?

Is there ever a time where you just feel like giving your friend a call, whether it be to just talk about something cool that happened, or sports, or a new TV show, and the same for your spouse. Can you go days without talking to that person? What would be the result of that? I really want you to think of that. Please, stop and just think about that. This is the meat and potatoes of what I am trying to say here, so really allow that image to flourish in your mind.

Think about it. Think about the consequences you would have if this were the case. Think of how your spouse would feel if we just didn’t talk to them for three days. Or we only talked to them for about 5 minutes before bed, and as soon as we said what we wanted to say we just rolled over and fell asleep. So many of us pray, and then move on, and we don’t stop and listen. Be still, and know…

If we would never be like this with our closest of friends, then why would we do it to our Father, who created us, and loves us more than anything in the universe? We should be going to him, not FOR everything, but WITH everything. Just be thinking about him constantly. Already I am seeing a difference in the way I view everyday life. Things are so much more vibrant, and I’ve only been attempting this for a couple days. Meaning, I am not thinking of Him as much as I would like, so, it can still be better. It you need more motivation to be in His presence all day every day, then know that there is only something to be gained. There is absolutely nothing to lose, not even time.

There is much more I want to say, but I didn’t sleep well last night, and it was a huge project to get want I wanted to say on this, and a minimal amount at that. So, check back often, follow me, or subscribe. I will be posting more soon.

Turned Away

2009-03-24T03:58:00.001-07:00

"The single greatest cause of atheism in the world today, is Christians; who acknowledge Him by their lips, but deny Him by their lifestyle."

This is a quote, not my own words, but if I were the one saying this, what do you suppose I would be trying to say? That Christians should just stop being hypocritical? No. That's impossible. And here's why. Christians should and will teach the gospel of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ was, is, and always will be perfect. Can we as humans top that? Nope. Can we as humans come close? Not a chance. Does that mean we shouldn't try? No! Here's a sum up: Christians will preach, and they will fall short of what they preach every time. This is wrong, yes, but through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, this has been accounted for. Clean slate from the start. He's saying, "What's that? Messed up, again? No worries, I've got your back."

Two things I believe are happening, and I will mention them, but in no order of importance.

First thing. Non Christians don't understand why it's ok if we fall short of our own teaching, that is, the teaching of Jesus. Why is this?

Because of the second thing. Christians are all chillin' in their little comfort zone, and never braving the world outside. We sit in church every sunday, maybe attend a group some other night of the week, on top of praying and reading our bibles. I would guarantee 95% of all Christians like this think they are all good. They feel like their lives are in order. I am going to venture as far as saying that is totally wrong. What good is knowing, if we don't share it?

I was invited to do a 2x2 ministry type thing, for lack of a better name. "Matthew 28ing It". I was excited to do it, but scared to death. 2x2 is the practice of going out into the world in pairs and spreading the Gospel (I almost feel like feeling silly for saying Gospel, but the fact is, it's God's good news for us). I was scared, but I ventured out, and for the first time in this kind of setting.

I will be honest when I say that I did not get around to telling people about Christ, but a couple other groups did, and their stories were amazing (you can go hear about these stories at Ecclessia, which is held sunday nights at 7pm. It is located on 78th st, just one intersection west of the Shari's on 503). Me and my partner rode the elevator at the airport up and down a few times and intercepted some people and talked to them. I am sure it may have brightened their day, but no more. Next time I think I will be more prepared, and will try to stay in constant prayer and actually bring Jesus up in the conversation. I am excited. I think this was just a practice run anyway. I am however going to be more aware EVERY DAY of opportunities to talk to people. Let's just say, random conversations with random people at random times in random places is NOT my strength.

So my point is this. Non Christians will never understand the AMAZING UNBELIEVABLE AWESOMENESS of God, our Father, if no one ever tells them. So when they call you a hypocrite, agree with them, but tell them why. Don't justify yourselves and sound all hot headed, but humble yourselves. Let them know that it's a gift, and we have been redeemed. It's free. It's awesome. And we can't live the lives we do without our Father.

Sky Fishing

2009-03-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

So, I recently have acknowledged Christ's Grace, and Truth, and am following Him now more than I ever have. For those of you who have done this, you will totally know what I am talking about when I say that the first few days are full of excitement and passion. You want to just run up and down the aisle screaming the name of Jesus.

Then you also know that this only lasts for a few days. You still believe the same thing, and no less than before, but now you aren't so zealous as before. I hope you don't think I am about to tell you the answer to this issue, because I am not. I am however going to tell you about a guy from New Zealand.

Here's a guy who has fished all his life. He's been almost everywhere for fishing, and has caught over 1100 marlin.... that's a lot of fish. When he first started fishing, it was very very exciting. When he caught his first fish he was ecstatic, and when he got it down to where he could almost garuntee a catch, he was overjoyed. Then we went on to tackle different locations all over the world to fish. To master the waters... oh what joy. Now, years have gone by, and fishing has become a part of him. He lives to fish, and I think most fish live to meet him. And most fish probably have. The excitement has gone, the thrill has gone, and the difficulty has definitely vanished entirely.

So, what does he do? Does he accept that this is as far as the road has taken him? Does he just give up on it, thinking that is all that fishing has to offer?

Do you know what he does now? He still fishes. Oh yea, but not with rod and reel.

He uses a helicopter. Yes, a helicopter. And what does he do from that helicopter? He jumps from it, to tackle the fish. Not just any fish. Marlin. Marlin are huge. They are like sharks. Horses of the sea. They are massive. This guy flies over the ocean, waits for a marlin to surface for food, and then dives out of the helicopter to own them!
So, did he give up on his dream because it got boring? Heck no! He went for the next best thing!

So my point is this; that just because the excitement of accepting Christ has kind of faded, or "church" or "religion" (if you dare want to call it that) has seemed to become stagnant, don't think it is God. Take a look around, and see what kind of doors are openning for you. He's got plenty of options for all of us. Do you think this New Zealander was totally calm the first time he jumped from the helicopter? I sure he was nervous as all heck! So when you are absolutely terrified of stepping out of your comfort zone, then you know you're on the right track. God calls us to go to the ends of the earth. Maybe that's not such a possibility for you, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do something else exciting and exilirating, or INSANE!

I urge you to step out there. Maybe your comfort zone is extremely small, like mine. Getting up on stage and playing an instrument for God was once a heartpounding experience, but now I love it, and can't wait for more. I am currently looking into a summer camp to be a counsilor or a cook or something. That is the next thing for me. Being around that many people in somewhat of a leasership position is WAY out of my comfort zone, so I am going for it. I am also thinking about going to Alaska! For now it is simply for income purposes, but I am positive that if/when I get up there, God will open a door for some kind of ministry. These are kind of small-medium sized things, but for me they are hugely out of my comfort zone. Maybe for you it is just sitting in a classroom of toddlers and watching them during a sunday service, or going to a homeless shelter and serving food or cleaning. Just get out there and do it! Also be reading your bibles, and be in prayer always. God has been teaching me how to go to him all day every day, and for the sillyest of things sometimes, but when we need something, or notice his glory in something, He asks us to tell him about it.

Well, that's all I have for now. Feel free to look that guy up on youtube. He's for real. (referring to the fisherman... even though God is also real)

Safety Rail

2009-03-21T02:52:00.000-07:00

“I pray God uses this for His gain, and not mine. I pray someone out there can take something from what I have written here.”

I was skimming through the Bible, looking for something to read, and I came across the letters to Timothy from Paul. I thought, "Oh, i don't remember what these are about. This could be fun!" Well, it is telling me how I need to change to be an example of Christ. It is Written to Timothy that he may be a leader to those in Ephesus (not sure on the spelling). It is an amazing book, and I urge you to read it if you are not currently involved in another book. The first one is 6 chapters long, and totally one you can just sit and read all the way through in one sitting and get a lot out of it. I have the attention span of a monkey though, and had to read it in two sittings
The thing that stuck out to me the most, is the idea of praying before we eat. Now, don’t be surprised when you read the whole thing, and never see this idea in there. I don’t think this passage was ever intended to be taken this direction. Paul had other concerns on his mind while in writing. I was more or less reminded of the thought by a certain phrasing in the passage of chapter 4; the very beginning actually.

Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, 2 through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, 3 who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. 4 For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, 5 for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.

(This passage is actually pretty massive, and somewhat eye opening in light of the world’s current situation, but I will divert to a different thought process.)
I will just come out and say it here. I never pray before I eat. I cook, plate, eat, “aaahhh”. I have always viewed praying before we eat as just some cultural thing with no real biblical reference. It never dawned on me that it could have been something else entirely, having transformed into a “cultural trend”.

According to this passage, there should not be anyone feeling they must not be married, or refrain from eating certain foods because of some religious barrier; that everything is made good through thanksgiving.. In other words, recognize that it is good from God, and let Him know that you know that it is from Him.
So I got to thinking.

DUH! I don’t really care what praying before we eat means to most people now, but what it should be is simply a recognition. (I don’t think the word recognition was ever intended to be used as a noun, but I just did, and Microsoft Word is freaking out. I feel like I am teasing my computer, and it is quite fun, I’ll be honest.)
“Thank you God for the food you have provided for me. I will take it, and know that it is from you, and it is good through you.”

I need to throw out this disclaimer however. There are plenty of passages that tell us not to be drunkards, or not to have more than one wife, or not to be gluttons. So, don’t take this idea and go nuts with it thinking you can do whatever you want with these, and as long as you thank God you’re all good.

“Thank you Jesus for my 27 wives, and my lifetime supply of Taco Bell! YOU ROCK GOD!” It doesn’t work like that. I am sorry, it just doesn’t.

But God still rocks…

Disclaimer #2:
This is just my opinion, so please, research it and come to your own conclusion. Just use this as a wall, with which you can bounce ideas off of. I strongly urge you to never just take someone’s word for it, but to use it as an idea, and encouragement, and reference, or a guiding. Words are like a barrier or a trail, or a safety rail. They do two things. The can prevent you from falling at dangerous spots, but they also limit your climg. Learn to know when you need to be safe, and when to jump the fence and make your own trail. (is it just me, or did that analogy rock?)

New Oppurtunities

2009-03-19T14:23:00.000-07:00

"...If you spend all of your money on yourself, why would God trust you with more? ...
... If you think of women disrespectfully, why would God trust you with a wife?"

These are just two of the things that hit me hard enough to physically hurt.

I am going to do my best to express myself with these words, but I can already tell I am not going to do a good job. Please bare with me.

I was face to face with God last night. God was speaking to a group of people through a man, giving a normal Sunday lesson, but the things he was saying were about me. Finally, when I felt singled out enough, God skipped past his mediator, and came straight at me, full bore, and "pile-drived" me. He came up to my face, with longing, and hurt, and what I interpret to be a bit of anger. Imagine walking with God through a life scenario. You spend a lot of time with Him, and lead others in worshiping Him. Eventually, however, you get bored, and realize that you only need to "believe in Him" to make it to heaven, so you stop praying, stop reading your bible and stop going to church. Then you notice that you feel alone, but yet...

Someone is watching you.

Then one normal day, you see God sprinting towards you. I'm not saying like, "HEY, GOOD TO SEE YOU!" I'm saying he is full on sprinting as fast as he can straight at me, to tackle me with an image of my own self righteousness.

He reaches me, get's up in my face and says,

"How much longer are you going to sit here, and waste time? What are you doing? I see you make mistakes, and trust yourself to fix them! You fool! I see you make other mistakes, and some the same, and look back at the past, letting it bring you down more. You fool! You've spent the last 3 years working in a casino, and instead of telling them about me, you join them in their wrongdoing! You fool! I give you another opportunity to show people me, and you follow in their drunken ways... You fool! Well, I've had enough! You know how I feel about people sitting on the fence; people who are lukewarm. I spit them out of my mouth. You say you believe in me, but don't show it at all in your actions. But I'm not done with you yet! Oh no! Alone, you are a fool! But through me, all things are possible. I'm going to take you away from everything, and we're going to have some 1 on 1 time. Three months. You're going to get injured, and I am taking you away from the people who allow you to be so weak. Don't worry. I will take care of your bills, and your food, and your bed. I have a family for you. You are going to rest, and then I am going to have my way with you, and you are going to make a choice. Well, that time is NOW! You're are going to make that choice NOW! Live for me, or don't live for me. It is up to you, and you know how I feel. I will always be beside you, in front of you, behind you, and sometimes under you. Come to me, and I will guide your steps. I will make your path straight. At times it will be narrow, but it will always be straight. I have a plan for you. Live for me! Take up your cross, and LIVE for me! I love you, and I want to be with you! LOVE for me! LIVE for me. Let people look at you, and see ME! You've sat on the fence for too long. Make your choice."

I am telling the truth. These are the words I felt the Lord speaking to me last night. I know it sounds silly, but I spoke with God. He came to me, and pleaded for my soul. And I gave it to him. I spent the next 30 minutes or more shaking, and in tears. And I prayed to him. I spoke back to him. I asked him to send me to the place he wanted me to go. I asked him to keep this fire in my heart! This realization of love, and life. I don't ever want to lose it's closeness. I don't ever want to drift away again. I want to be strong in you God! I want to LOVE for you God, and I want to LIVE for you God.

By taking up the cross, Christ sacrificed himself for us. He poured out his blood, and his life, so that WE can be alive by his grace. I know these are all things you have read, heard, sung, seen before. Well LIVE these things. LOVE these things! Take up your cross. Help me take up mine. Together, as Christ's church, as Christ's family, and His Children, let us take up or crosses and follow our savior to the corners of the earth. Wherever he wants us to go, let's go.

I will be the first to admit, that I am scared out of my freakin mind. I am already saying "Oh crap! What did I just get myself into!" Help me, please pray for me! I need God's strength to stick with what I told him I was going to do. I have an accountability partner already, but the more the merrier. Let me pray for you! give me more to talk to God about. I never want a moment where I allow my mind to wander off and think impure thoughts. If I have a spare moment, I want to be talking to God. I want to share with him what I am passionate about, and aside from Him, I want to be passionate about you. We are family. We can tell each other everything. Know that God can help you in anyway. Know then also, that God intended for us to support each other. Do NOT be alone.

Allow me to confess something, that I have never confessed to people before, save for one time that is critical in my testimony. I have been alone a lot, because I have chosen to be. I didn't realize it at the time, but I chose to be alone. I wanted friends, and I wanted some company, but I never asked God for the courage to step out and meet people. And I never trusted God was going to take care of me. This resulted in dark times for me, where on a daily basis, I thought about the easiest way to kill myself. I wondered if driving into a telephone pole would be a sure thing. I wondered the status of suicides. Do suicides go to hell? What is the point, if we are to feel so much pain, to be on this earth? Why was I never handed things in life? Why didn't I get to be elevated to where I wanted to be? Why were things hard for me? Why did I have to survive in split homes? Why did I have to have a disorder where I couldn't focus on one topic, and the result was a 1.7 gpa out of highschool? Why can't something be easy for once? Why can't I fast forward 10 years, to a point in life where I am in a job, educated, and in my own home. If I swallowed a bottle of tylenol, would it kill me, or just make me sick, and permanently damage my body to the point where I hated life even more?

THESE WERE DAILY THOUGHTS!

I never once, as far as I can remember, asked God to hold my hand. When I was alone in the dark, wishing I had someone to talk to, I never talked to God. Looking back though, I know He was there. I know that He was so close, he could hear my heart beat. During the times where I pushed Him away, he simply followed closer, and held on tighter.

If you try to save your life, you will lose it. If you instead give up your life, you will gain it. "God knows us better than we do. He knows to protect us from ourselves". We are irresponsible people, that would lose our heads if they were not attached. If God was not holding onto us, we would fall. He wants us to think like children, and we are His. We will stand there sucking our thumbs, holding on to the edge of the coffee table until our knees give away, and we fall to the ground. Our Father will come, and kneel down next to us, and beckon us. He will encourage us. We have a goal! Forget the thumb, I am going to stand, against all odds, and I will make do with what I have been given. I imagine myself as an infant, supporting my self against the coffee table. I will try to walk alone, and I will fall, and crawl back to that table. THen my Father will beckon for me. I will stand, and I will hobble over to my Father, and I will fall into his arms, and I will feel his warmth, and love for me. I will know I am His. There will be no mistaking my belonging. I belong to Jesus Christ. He is my Rock, and my Foundation. I know I am using old sunday school terms, but they are MORE true to me now than they ever have been before.

Again, I beg for prayer. I feel a fiery passion burning inside of me. This has happened before, but to a much less degree. I have been reminded of his Glory, but never have had my body crushed from it. Humbled. A man screamed out "I may speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but if I do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clanging symbol! GOD! Don't let me be a gong, or a symbol! Let me have your love!"

I want to go on and on, but already I am sure most of you have stopped reading this. I am sure that this is just way too long for you to read. It's one thing if it is a book, but something about long pages on the internet turns people off.

I hope that we can pursue Christ together. Let me pray for you, and please pray for me. Pray that I will keep fuel in this fire. I need to be reading my bible every day. It is not a chore, but a gift!

I pray for constant zeal.

I pray for constant longing

I pray for constant commitment

I pray for constant worship

I pray for constant prayer

I pray for constant love

I pray someone out there benefits from what I have written tonight.

I am broken. I spent the last 21 years of my life building a sand castle. God sent one small wave my way, and completely destroyed it all. I am starting over in Him. I gave Christ my soul last night. I never said a special prayer. I simply said "ok". Tell God "ok". He's asking for you. He's asking for you to follow him. Say to Him, "Ok, God. I surrender. White flag. Take me, and do with me what you Will."

Glorify Him